The Housemaster’s study still holds the company’s silence. Parsley sets the company’s copy beside the official ledger, its inked confession now witnessed, signed, and preserved. John and Morris lean close, waiting.
Parsley
Only what belongs to everyone, Lewis. The mark, the admission, the remedy. The rest is yours.
John
Then your father’s question belongs here too, perhaps. Why send you into a place built to grind boys down?
The Housemaster closes the ledger with deliberate care. Outside, boots pass along the dark stone corridor, but no one enters. Fribble remains by the wall, stripped of his borrowed authority, listening.
The Housemaster of School House
A father may send a son away believing hardship will make him independent. He may also mistake endurance for education. Malvern has taught many boys to obey pain, and called the result character.
Parsley
But Lewis has made something else here. He was sent away alone. He has answered by making sure no one stands alone.
Fribble lowers his eyes. The company’s record lies between the boys and the master, no longer a private protest but a fact the school must carry. Parsley turns toward Lewis, leaving the final meaning in his hands.
✓ Quest Accepted
Tell Parsley what part of Lewis’s father’s question remains private
✓ Quest Accepted
Establish a boundary between the company’s record and Lewis’s private life
“Lewis says he still not has received a reply from his father. So he doesn't know the secret. And it shouldn't be a part of the company record anyways. It is his problem to deal with, not all of theirs.”
SUCCESS (Legendary Willpower, rolled +2)
C. S. Lewis
I still have no reply from my father. I do not know the secret he was asked about, and it should not enter the company record. That is mine to deal with, not yours.
The words settle without force, but they draw a clean boundary around the unanswered letter and whatever silence lies behind it.
Parsley
Then it stays yours. The record can tell the truth without taking possession of you.
The Housemaster of School House
A sound distinction. Public conduct belongs to the school’s account. Private correspondence does not, unless its owner chooses otherwise.
John
We can stand beside you without opening the door.
Morris
And if the answer comes, you decide what it means before anyone else does.
Parsley’s hand withdraws from the company copy, leaving the page untouched. The boundary is accepted, not merely recorded, and the study grows quiet around it.
Parsley
When you are ready, you may tell me. Until then, I will not ask again.
Quest Complete
Tell Parsley what part of Lewis’s father’s question remains private
“Lewis nods and leaves at a brisk pace. Trying to find somewhere quiet to clear his head and to get away from the others.”
SUCCESS (Good Agility, rolled +3)
C. S. Lewis nods once, then turns from the desk and leaves at a brisk, controlled pace. The study door closes behind him without ceremony.
John
Take the quiet. We shall be here when you come back.
The corridor receives him with pale afternoon light and the softened sounds of lessons beyond closed doors. His quick steps carry him past the stair and into the empty school library.
He finds a narrow alcove behind the tall shelves, with a chair, a green-shaded lamp, and a clear view of the grounds through the high window. No one else is there.
Parsley
He has not shut us out. He has only kept one door of his own.
On the table lies the library's spare writing slate, clean and unclaimed. The quiet gives Lewis a place to set down whatever can be examined without being surrendered.
The Housemaster of School House
The record will stand, Lewis. So will your boundary.
His voice does not follow into the alcove. Beyond the window, the school grounds lie still beneath the autumn sky, while the preserved record begins its life without him.
“Alone at last, Lewis lets himself cry. Lost and confused about what he's supposed to be doing and the direction he should be taking. And terrified of his own inner darkness.”
SUCCESS (Legendary Willpower, rolled +2)
For several minutes, the library hears only the faint ticking of the wall clock. Then Lewis bends over the slate, and the tears come, silent at first, then shaking his narrow shoulders.
He does not disguise the grief. He lets it pass through him, along with the bewilderment of having no clear road ahead and the cold fear of what his own anger might become.
The door opens by inches. Parsley pauses on the threshold, sees the tears, and does not retreat or call attention to them.
Parsley
I can go, if you need the room. Or I can sit here and say nothing.
He crosses only after the silence permits it, taking the chair opposite Lewis rather than touching him. The distance is careful, and the company ledger remains safely beyond the alcove.
Parsley
You need not put this in the record. But you need not carry it as though it makes you dangerous either.
The fear does not vanish, but it becomes something Lewis has faced without surrendering to it. Parsley keeps his hands folded in his lap and waits.
Parsley
What would help now, Lewis, quiet company or an honest question?
“Lewis says he doesn't know what he should be doing. Protecting them all and driving the group forward was all he cared about for this past month. But now he doesn't know what he should be doing. He feels helpless, like a spectator watching everything go on around him. He doesn't have a goal or anything. And he feels himself shutting down again like he was before they became friends. Lewis didn't even have any input or anything to say that whole hearing. He just stood there empty.”
SUCCESS (Legendary Willpower, rolled +2)
C. S. Lewis
I do not know what I should be doing. Protecting you all and driving the company forward was all I cared about this past month. Now I have no goal. I feel helpless, as though I am only watching everything happen around me.
C. S. Lewis
I can feel myself shutting down again, as I was before we became friends. During the hearing, I had no input and nothing to say. I simply stood there, empty.
The admission settles between them without the discipline of the ledger or the shelter of a rule. Parsley does not hurry to fill the silence.
Parsley
You were not empty. You were present, and you let the truth be heard by people who needed to hear it.
Parsley
But I understand the difference between being needed and knowing what to do next. The company must not become another father, demanding that you carry it so you can feel real.
Parsley reaches for the edge of the table, stopping short of Lewis and leaving the choice of distance untouched.
Parsley
You do not have to lead this minute. You can sit here until you know whether you want quiet, a question, or simply my company.
“Lewis says that he always wants Parsley's company. But sometimes he is afraid Parsley doesn't want his.”
SUCCESS (Legendary Willpower, rolled +2)
C. S. Lewis
I always want your company. But sometimes I am afraid that you do not want mine.
The words cross the table without disguise. The library remains quiet around them, green lamplight resting on the clean slate.
Parsley
I want it. Not because you protect me, or because the company needs you. I want you here because you are you.
Parsley keeps his hands in his own space, honoring the distance he offered. His answer does not demand that Lewis become useful again.
Parsley
And if I ever need quiet, I will tell you plainly. You will not have to guess, and you will not have to earn your place beside me.
Parsley
Would you like me to stay with you now, simply as Parsley?
“Lewis says he just wants Parsley to hold him and let him know he still has a place here. A purpose.”
SUCCESS (Legendary Willpower, rolled -1)
C. S. Lewis
I want you to hold me, Parsley, and tell me I still have a place here. That I still have a purpose.
Parsley rises at once, but he pauses long enough to let Lewis see the choice in his face.
Parsley
Yes. Come here.
He crosses the small space and gathers Lewis carefully against him, one arm around his shoulders and the other braced between his shoulder blades.
Parsley
You have a place because you are wanted here. Your purpose is not to carry us. It is to stand with us, and to let us stand with you.
The clean slate remains untouched behind them. For once, the company’s record asks nothing of Lewis.
Parsley
Would you like to tell me what purpose feels possible now, or shall we simply stay like this?
“Lewis asks to stay like this a little longer. Just until he can compose himself.”
C. S. Lewis
Just a little longer, please. Until I can compose myself.
Parsley lowers them both carefully to the library floor beside the table. Lewis stays within his arms, breathing gradually evening as the quiet alcove holds.
Parsley
As long as you need. There is no hurry.
“After awhile, Lewis asks if they can sneak off somewhere private and really talk? Just the twonof them? Maybe the stream past the Meadow Parsley led them too before. Lewis knows they might get in trouble, but if he is really going to open up he needs to do it somewhere a blood or prefect can't be listening in. Parsley can say no.”
SUCCESS (Mediocre Stealth, rolled +1)
C. S. Lewis
Could we slip away somewhere private and talk properly? Just us. Perhaps the stream beyond the Meadow, if you remember it. I know we may get in trouble, but I need somewhere no Blood or prefect can listen.
Parsley studies Lewis's face, then glances toward the library door. The alcove remains undisturbed, its silence offering them a narrow chance.
Parsley
Yes. Not because you owe me an explanation, but because I want to hear you without the school standing over us.
Parsley rises first and offers his hand. Together, they leave by the quieter passage, keeping to the edges of the corridors and pausing whenever footsteps pass beyond a doorway.
The school falls behind them by degrees. Past the Meadow, the stream appears under the late light, its banks screened by reeds and hawthorn.
Parsley
Here. No one is listening. You can begin wherever the truth feels heaviest.
“Lewis thanks him for agreeing to this. He asks Parsely if he can just let everything out? He knows they are already a couple, but Lewis has felt like they've been drifting apart. And he worries its his own fault. That he might be bad for Parsley.”
SUCCESS (Legendary Willpower, rolled +1)
C. S. Lewis
Thank you for agreeing to this. May I let everything out? I know we are a couple, but I have felt us drifting apart. I fear it is my fault, that I may be bad for you.
The words cross the water softly. Parsley lowers the reeds and turns fully from the school path, giving Lewis the whole of his attention.
Parsley
Yes. Let it out. I would rather hear the frightening truth than watch you carry it alone.
Parsley sits on the bank, leaving a careful space between them. The distance is offered, not imposed, and the stream fills it with a quiet rush.
Parsley
You are not bad for me because you are troubled. But if I am hurt, or need quiet, I will tell you plainly. You must let me do that.
Late light breaks across the water between them. The school path remains empty beyond the reeds, while the private boundary between the boys becomes something they can name together.
Parsley
So speak, Lewis. Start with what makes you think we are drifting, and I will stay here while you tell me.
“Lewis says that he knows that. And wants to give Parsley that. But he worries that his own needs have cause him to smother Parsley. Parsley shouldn't have to set that boundary because Lewis should have already given him that. And Lewis worries that his own trauma and needs are toxic.”
SUCCESS (Legendary Willpower, rolled +0)
C. S. Lewis
I know. I want to give you that freedom. But I fear my needs have smothered you, when I should have given you room without being told.
The stream carries the confession between the reeds. Lewis's words do not break the boundary between them. They make it visible.
C. S. Lewis
My fear, my grief, all of it feels as though it has become toxic. I worry that being close to me is harming you.
Parsley
You have needed me, yes. That is not the same as using me. You listened when I told you to leave room, and you came here to ask rather than command.
Parsley
If your pain begins to press me flat, I will say so. That is not a punishment, Lewis. It is how I remain beside you honestly.
Parsley shifts nearer by a small, deliberate measure, leaving the choice of closeness with Lewis. His open hand rests between them on the grass.
Parsley
You do not have to become empty to be safe for me. Tell me what you need now, and I will tell you what I can give.
“Lewis opens his arms in invitation, letting Parsley know he wants the closeness. He asks Parsley to just listen. Lewis never lies but there is plenty he doesn't say. So he asks Parsley to hear the rest of his truth.”
SUCCESS (Legendary Willpower, rolled -2)
Lewis opens his arms across the narrow water, making the invitation plain. His sleeve dips into the stream, and cold water darkens the cuff.
C. S. Lewis
Just listen, Parsley. I want you to hear the rest of the truth.
The damp cuff clings to Lewis's wrist, a small price for making himself unmistakable. The space between them is no longer guarded by silence.
Parsley
I am listening. You may tell me the part you have not yet found words for.
Parsley follows the bank's curve and crosses at the shallow stones, stopping within Lewis's offered reach without taking it for granted.
Parsley
I will not fill in the blanks for you, and I will not turn your truth into a duty. Start where you can, and I will stay with you.
“Lewis holds Parsley and lays by the bank of the stream. He admits that there is never a moment that he doesn't want to hold Parsley's hand or hold him or kiss him. And at first he was very touchy with Parsley. But lately he has been afraid to be that way. He's been afraid of a lot of things. Afraid if the kind of person he is deep down. That his own brokenness is something that can hurt those around him.”
SUCCESS (Legendary Willpower, rolled +3)
Lewis reaches across the stones and draws Parsley into an embrace at the bank. They settle together in the flattened grass, the stream whispering beside them.
C. S. Lewis
There is never a moment when I do not want to hold your hand, or hold you, or kiss you. At first I was always touching you. Lately, I have been afraid to.
His confession comes without disguise. His arms remain around Parsley, though his grip is careful enough to leave room for refusal.
C. S. Lewis
I am afraid of many things. I am afraid of the person I am underneath. What if my brokenness can hurt the people I love?
Parsley
Then we will tell the truth about it. Wanting closeness does not make you dangerous, and fear does not make you cruel.
Parsley
You have asked whether I wanted this, and you have listened when I answered. That is not harm. That is why I can stay.
Parsley takes Lewis's damp hand and laces their fingers together. The concrete promise steadies the confession: he will speak when hurt, and Lewis will not have to guess.
Parsley
You may hold me now. If I need space, I will say so plainly. Will you let me do the same for you?
✓ Quest Accepted
Agree with Parsley to speak plainly about needs and boundaries
“Lewis nods. He says he doesn't want to smother Parsley. He just likes the closeness and struggles to figure out where to draw the line. And what is moving too fast.”
SUCCESS (Legendary Willpower, rolled -2)
Lewis nods, keeping their joined hands between them. The wet grass chills through his sleeve, and the damp cuff leaves a dark stain against the flattened bank.
C. S. Lewis
I do not want to smother you. I like being close to you, but I cannot always tell where the line is, or what is moving too fast.
Parsley
Then we make the line something we can speak about, not something you must guess.
Parsley
Closeness is welcome when we both choose it. If either of us goes quiet, stiffens, or says stop, we pause and ask. No sulking, no punishment, no pretending.
Parsley shifts onto one elbow, giving Lewis room without withdrawing. Their hands remain linked, but the embrace loosens into an equal space between them.
Parsley
And if I need something, I will tell you plainly. You may tell me too. Would that help you know where we are?
Quest Complete
Agree with Parsley to speak plainly about needs and boundaries
“Lewis says that it would help. And he can do that. There is more he needs to share than though. But he is glad they started with that.”
SUCCESS (Legendary Willpower, rolled +0)
C. S. Lewis
It would help. I can do that. There is more I need to share, though, but I am glad we began here.
The words settle between them without disturbing the stream. Parsley listens as if the admission itself deserves room.
Parsley
Then share it at your pace. I will not pull it out of you, and I will not decide what it means before you have said it.
Parsley turns their joined hands so their palms meet openly, no longer hidden against the grass.
Parsley
You do not have to make it neat for me, Lewis. Truth is allowed to arrive untidily.
Parsley
What is the next part you want me to hear?
✓ Quest Accepted
Share the remaining truth with Parsley
“Lewis starts by telling Parsley that he thinks George abandoned Lewis. Worse than that, I think George was just an older boy who used him. Their relationship had gotten physical before they kissed. And was why Lewis was so devoted to him for so long after he disappeared. But also, Lewis thinks sometimes there is something wrong with how devoted to people he can get. He wonders if sometimes he is just obsessed instead of devoted. And that distinction frightens him because it makes his love wrong.”
SUCCESS (Legendary Willpower, rolled +0)
C. S. Lewis
I think George abandoned me. Worse, I think he was an older boy who used me. Things between us became physical before we kissed, and that is why I stayed devoted to him long after he disappeared.
The confession crosses the water plainly. Parsley does not withdraw his hand. He shifts closer on the grass, leaving Lewis room to breathe while keeping their palms joined.
C. S. Lewis
Sometimes I wonder whether there is something wrong with how devoted I become. Perhaps I am only obsessed, not devoted. That distinction frightens me, because it makes my love feel wrong.
Parsley
What George did, and what you felt, are not the same thing. Being used does not make your care false, and fearing obsession does not prove that you have harmed me.
Parsley
But I will not give you a comforting lie. Devotion must leave room for the other person to speak, pause, and remain free. You have asked for that room between us, and I can see you making it.
The stream carries the silence onward. Parsley rests their joined hands between them, neither claiming nor surrendering the truth.
Parsley
You are not wrong for loving deeply, Lewis. We will judge what love does by whether it can hear the truth. Do you want to tell me what you remember most clearly about George?
Quest Complete
Share the remaining truth with Parsley
“Lewis lets the tears come freely. He says he always wants Patsley to be free. And he doesn't have any objection to giving him space and letting him make his own decisions. He wants them to work together and be equal. He asks if Parsley can hold him while he talks about George, because that is the hardest part to say.”
SUCCESS (Legendary Willpower, rolled -1)
Lewis lets the tears come freely. The stream blurs beyond them, but Parsley remains solid beside him.
C. S. Lewis
I always want you to be free. I have no objection to giving you space, or letting you make your own decisions.
C. S. Lewis
I want us to work together as equals. Could you hold me while I talk about George? That is the hardest part to say.
Parsley answers by moving close and opening his arms. He waits until Lewis comes willingly, then gathers him carefully against his shoulder.
Parsley
Yes. I will hold you, and I will still let you speak for yourself. You do not owe me a performance of being well.
Lewis is held without being trapped. Parsley keeps one hand between Lewis's shoulder blades and leaves the other free, an unmistakable space for withdrawal.
Parsley
Tell me what you remember, in whatever order it comes. I am here, and I will listen without making your past decide what you are to me.
“Lewis admits he was infatuated with George from the moment they met. George was handsome and knowledgeable and observant. Lewis thinks George knew Lewis was fancying him from the start. And he would playfully flirt with Lewis while saying it was joking. They didn't become physical until they gave up on the raft and started skinny dipping. Lewis's father was almost never home and Lewis had questions about their bodies. That was how it started. By the time they kissed, Lewis would have done anything for George. And he thinks George knew it.”
SUCCESS (Legendary Willpower, rolled +0)
C. S. Lewis
I was infatuated with George from the moment we met. He was handsome, knowledgeable, and observant. I think he knew I fancied him from the beginning.
The words come unevenly, but they do come. Parsley keeps his arm around Lewis without tightening it, leaving the choice of distance with him.
C. S. Lewis
He flirted with me playfully, then called it a joke. I could never tell where the joke ended. We did not become physical until we had given up on the raft and gone swimming without our clothes.
Parsley
You were young, curious, and alone with someone who understood that he had your attention. I am listening. I am not turning that into a verdict against you.
C. S. Lewis
My father was almost never home. I had questions about our bodies, and that was how it began. By the time George and I kissed, I would have done anything for him. I think he knew that too.
The confession settles between them, plain and frightening, while the stream carries the late light past the reeds.
Parsley
Then what happened mattered. His knowing your devotion gave him a responsibility, whether he honoured it or not. Your love is not made wicked by the way he used your trust.
Parsley
You have told me the hardest part. Would you like me to hold you again, or would you rather sit beside me while we let the truth be quiet?
“Lewis says he wants Parsley to hold him, but he isn't finished sharing. Because the real hardest part for him was after George disappeared. When he finally accepted that he wouldn't see George again it broke him. He shut-down. He was like an empty puppet just going through the motions. He didn't even argue against being sent to Malvern. He just barely felt anything. He had no motivation. He wasn't even taking care of himself. Until the moment he walked in on Fribble and Parsley.”
SUCCESS (Legendary Willpower, rolled +3)
C. S. Lewis
Hold me, please. I am not finished. The hardest part came after George disappeared. When I accepted I would never see him again, something in me broke. I became an empty puppet, going through the motions.
Parsley draws Lewis into his arms at once, carefully, leaving enough room for him to withdraw. The reeds whisper beside them as the stream carries the late light onward.
C. S. Lewis
I barely felt anything. I did not argue when I was sent here. I had no motivation, and I was not even taking care of myself. Then I walked in on you and Fribble.
Parsley
That was the moment you came back to yourself. You saw me in danger, and you acted. It does not erase what happened before, but it proves the emptiness was not all of you.
Parsley
I remember your face that day. You were frightened, but you were present. I can remind you of that whenever the puppet feeling returns, if you want me to.
His promise gives the memory a witness outside Lewis's own uncertain recollection. Parsley holds him without claiming to cure him, waiting for whatever truth comes next.
“Lewis nods. He says it was like waking up from a foggy sleep. And then the spark between them, and how it spread as they included more friends. The drove and responsibility it woke in him that he used to help start Pheonix Company. But now that it is done, he doesn't know where to direct that drive. He feels restless, and without direction. And it makes him start to fall back into that puppet state.”
SUCCESS (Legendary Willpower, rolled -1)
C. S. Lewis
Lewis nods. It was like waking from a foggy sleep. Then there was the spark between us, and it spread as we brought in more friends.
C. S. Lewis
That spark gave me drive and responsibility. I used both to help start the Phoenix Company. But now the immediate work is done, I do not know where to direct them.
His words come steadily, though his body slackens in Parsley's arms. The stream keeps its quiet course below the reeds.
C. S. Lewis
I feel restless, without direction. When I have nowhere to put it, I begin falling back into that puppet state.
Parsley
Then the company is not your only proof that you are awake. You are here, telling me before the silence takes you completely.
Parsley
We can look for a direction together, but I will not hand you another burden and call it purpose. What feels possible for this evening, Lewis?
“Lewis looks at Parsley, and asks if it was really a burden he convinced himself was responsibility?”
SUCCESS (Legendary Willpower, rolled +1)
C. S. Lewis
Was it really a burden I convinced myself was responsibility?
The question settles between them. Lewis's hand remains near Parsley's sleeve, no longer seeking to direct either of them.
Parsley
Some of it was. You took every frightened person and made yourself answerable for saving him. That was a burden, even when you called it duty.
Parsley
But responsibility was there too. You noticed what others ignored, and you acted when someone needed help. The mistake was believing that responsibility meant carrying everything alone.
Parsley
He must hear the difference without hearing another command.
Parsley
The company can share its work. You can share your strength. Neither has to become a chain around your neck.
Parsley turns their joined hands palm-up, offering the distinction rather than imposing it. The late light trembles across their fingers and the slow water.
Parsley
For this evening, you need not find a grand purpose. We can sit here, or speak of one small thing you want to understand. Which feels more honest?
“Lewis admits he just wants to stay with Parsley and talk. He expects their friends will have noticed them missing and will find them soon. They are pretty smart. So he would just listen to Parsley speak if Parsley is willing?”
SUCCESS (Legendary Willpower, rolled -2)
C. S. Lewis
I want to stay here with you and talk. Our friends will have noticed we are gone. They are clever enough to find us. If you are willing, I would rather listen to you.
The wet grass chills Lewis through one knee as he settles beside Parsley. He stays, despite the discomfort, and leaves the next words to him.
Parsley
Then I will tell you something I have not said plainly. I am not brave because I never fear anything. I am brave when I refuse to let fear choose my companions.
Parsley
That is why the company matters to me. Not because it gives us a grand banner, but because it lets frightened boys remain themselves in one another's sight.
Parsley shifts onto the bank beside Lewis, no longer arranging his hand or posture. Their shoulders rest near each other, with room between them and no demand to close it.
Parsley
And you matter to me apart from what you can organize or endure. I would like to hear what you want from this evening, even if the answer is only more conversation.
“Lewis looks at Parsley and says that he just wants to keep talking like this for now. And he says that he is proud the Company has become what it has been for Parsley and the others. He thinks it is the best thing he has ever helped make.”
SUCCESS (Legendary Willpower, rolled -1)
C. S. Lewis
I want to keep talking like this for now. And I am proud of what the Company has become for you and the others. It is the best thing I have ever helped make.
The words settle between them without ceremony. Beyond the reeds, the stream carries the late light onward, while the school feels briefly distant.
Parsley
Then let me say what I want from it. I want the Company to remain a place where no one has to earn belonging by being useful.
Parsley
You helped make that possible, Lewis. But you are not its foundation stone. You are one of us, and one of us may rest.
That distinction changes the shape of the evening. Pride no longer demands that Lewis carry the whole work, and Parsley’s place within it stands equal to his own.
Parsley
When we go back, shall we tell the others what this place has given us, or keep this conversation ours for a little longer?
“Lewis says that they can share if Parsley wants too. He asks what Parsley wants from tonight?”
SUCCESS (Legendary Willpower, rolled +1)
C. S. Lewis
We can tell them, if you want to as well. What do you want from tonight?
The question leaves the company, the records, and every duty outside the reeds. It gives Parsley room to answer as himself.
Parsley
He is asking what I want, not what I can contribute. I must not waste that kindness by pretending they are the same.
Parsley
I want to tell them that the Company is real, but I do not want this evening turned into another meeting. I want them to know we can stand together without making every private truth public.
Parsley draws a small circle in the damp grass, then lets his hand fall still. The stream keeps its quiet course between them and the school path.
Parsley
And I want to go back beside you, not behind you or in your keeping. We can share what matters, then keep something for ourselves.
Parsley
If that is what you want too, we can sit here a little longer and decide together what belongs to the others.
“Lewis says that is what he wants, and he would like that a lot. He looks around and plucks a small feather from the reeds.”
C. S. Lewis
That is what I want. I should like that very much.
Lewis looks across the reeds, then plucks a small feather free and turns it between his fingers.
Parsley
Then we shall tell them together, and keep this evening ours. Equal, plainly, and without making either of us carry it alone.
+ New Item Acquired
Small feather
“Lewis offers Parsley the feather. For your notebook. He says. So neither of us forget this.”
C. S. Lewis
For your notebook. So neither of us forget this.
Parsley accepts the feather carefully, tucking it into his notebook. The small gift settles between them as a quiet promise, while the stream carries the late light past their bank.
“Lewis lays back on the grass, his mind finally starting to settle. He asks Parsley if he has any fears or insecurities he has been carrying alone?”
SUCCESS (Legendary Willpower, rolled +3)
Therefore, C. S. Lewis eases himself onto the grass, the reeds whispering above him as the last tightness leaves his shoulders.
C. S. Lewis
Do you have any fears or insecurities you have been carrying alone?
Parsley
Yes. I fear that if I stop being useful, people will stop wanting me. I fear I am only safe when I am needed.
But Parsley does not retreat behind the confession. He turns toward Lewis, leaving the notebook open between them, and speaks as an equal rather than a rescued boy.
Parsley
I also fear wanting too much from you. So I will tell you when I need quiet, and when I need you near. You need not guess.
Parsley
And I want to write this beside the company rules: being wanted is not the same as being useful. We can show the others that, if we choose.
The feather now marks more than a memory. Parsley has placed a truth of his own in Lewis's keeping, and offered a boundary the whole company might inherit without taking this evening from them.
Parsley
Will you let me be frightened beside you, rather than brave for you?
✓ Quest Accepted
Share Parsley’s fear with the Phoenix Company
“Lewis says that he would. He asks if Parsley will let Lewis stand uncertain beside him instead of trying to carry them both when he shouldn't”
SUCCESS (Legendary Willpower, rolled +1)
C. S. Lewis
I will. I will stand uncertain beside you, instead of trying to carry us both when I should not.
Lewis says it without reaching for the notebook or the company’s rules. The promise remains between them, chosen rather than written down.
Parsley
Then I will stand uncertain beside you too. We can be frightened without making either of us the other's shield.
Parsley closes the notebook halfway, keeping the feather visible between its pages. His hand leaves the paper and settles openly on the grass near Lewis's.
Parsley
When we tell the others, I want to say this plainly. My fear belongs in the company because it affects how I stand with them, but this promise belongs to us first.
The stream carries the last light beneath the reeds. Parsley looks to Lewis, leaving the decision shared and unhurried.
Parsley
Would you help me choose the words, when we are ready?
“Lewis nods. Quietly, he tells Parsley that he loves him. And he is so grateful Parsley was here with him for this. So he could stop staying silent himself.”
SUCCESS (Legendary Willpower, rolled +2)
C. S. Lewis
Lewis nods. Quietly, he tells Parsley that he loves him, and that he is grateful Parsley stayed with him long enough for him to stop staying silent.
The words do not enter the notebook. They remain spoken between them, plain and unguarded beside the water.
Parsley
He has told me without asking me to become his answer.
Parsley
I love you too. And I am glad you told me, not because I needed you to prove anything, but because I wanted you to be able to speak.
Parsley turns fully toward Lewis. The private truth settles beside the shared fear, distinct from it, neither one demanding to be carried alone.
Parsley
When we tell the company about my fear, we can say that this is what helped me speak it. We need not give them every word.
Parsley
Would you like me to write that distinction down, or should we leave it here between us for tonight?
“Lewis says he would write it down. Not because it is company business, but because he would not hide how deeply they feel about each other.”
SUCCESS (Mediocre Creative writing, rolled +0)
C. S. Lewis
Lewis says he would write it down, not as company business, but because he will not hide how deeply they feel about each other.
Parsley's expression softens. He opens the notebook again, keeping the feather visible between its pages.
Parsley
Then we will write both truths clearly. What I feared belongs to the company. What we feel belongs to us, unless we choose otherwise.
He turns to a clean page and steadies the notebook on his knee. The stream glitters beyond his shoulder, undisturbed.
Parsley
I will write that your love helped me speak, but it did not command me to speak. That difference matters.
Parsley writes the distinction in careful lines, then leaves the pencil beside the open notebook for Lewis to read and amend.
Parsley
There. It is ours to keep, and ours to share together when we decide.
“Lewis lays back in the grass and asks Parsley if they can cuddle? He knows their friends will be here soon to get them. So he would like to wait together.”
SUCCESS (Legendary Willpower, rolled +2)
Lewis lays back into the grass, leaving the open notebook and its feathered page between himself and the stream.
C. S. Lewis
Could we cuddle while we wait for the others? They will be here soon, and I would like to wait together.
Parsley
Yes. I would like that.
Parsley closes the notebook without disturbing the feather, sets it beside him, and settles down beside Lewis. He leaves room for Lewis to choose the distance.
Parsley
This is still ours, even though we will speak to the company later. I am glad we are not hiding it from ourselves.
He folds an arm around Lewis and rests his cheek near Lewis's shoulder. The reeds whisper softly as the two boys wait together, the private page safe beside them.
Parsley
When they arrive, shall we tell them my fear in my words, and let you stand beside me rather than speak for me?
“Lewis says that yes they should. But until then, this moment is for them.”
SUCCESS (Legendary Willpower, rolled +0)
C. S. Lewis
Yes. We should tell them together, in your words. Until they arrive, this moment is ours.
Lewis keeps his promise without reaching for the notebook or the company’s rules. The stream carries the late light past them, leaving the private truth undisturbed.
Parsley
Then I will speak, and you will stand beside me. Not in front of me.
Parsley’s arm remains around Lewis, but his hold eases enough to make the distinction plain. The company may hear his fear later. For now, neither boy has to perform it.
Parsley
And if I lose my words, you can ask whether I want help. You need not guess.
The agreement settles between them as quietly as the feather rests inside the closed notebook. Beyond the reeds, voices remain distant, and the waiting stays gentle.
“Lewis smiles and rests with Parsley until their friends find them. Lewis jokes that they will have to convince the others they didn't sneak away just to be intimate.”
SUCCESS (Legendary Humour, rolled +0)
Therefore the quiet holds. Lewis rests beside Parsley on the grassy bank, and the strain in his shoulders eases into a small smile.
C. S. Lewis
When the others find us, we shall have to convince them we did not sneak away merely to be intimate.
Parsley
That may be difficult. You look altogether too comfortable.
The joke lands softly. Parsley laughs under his breath, and the private moment becomes shared amusement rather than another matter to defend.
Parsley
We can tell them we came here to speak honestly. That is true, even if it is not the whole truth.
He adjusts the closed notebook beside them without opening it. The feather remains visible, and neither boy reaches for the company record.
Parsley
When I tell them about my fear, I want you beside me exactly as you are now, not speaking for me. Will you help me remember that?
The stream murmurs beyond the reeds. Parsley leaves the question between them, offering trust without turning it into a command.
“Lewis says that yes, he will help him remember that. Their friends find them relaxing together like this a short time later”
C. S. Lewis
Yes. I will help you remember that.
A short while later, the Phoenix Company emerges through the reeds. Parsley keeps the notebook closed, and Lewis remains beside him as the others gather on the bank, finding them relaxed together.
“Lewis waved to their friends, feeling lighter then before. He smiles to Parsley and says, "I'm right beside you, but it is your truth to share. You ready?"”
SUCCESS (Legendary Willpower, rolled -1)
C. S. Lewis
Lewis waves to the company, then smiles at Parsley. "I'm right beside you, but it is your truth to share. Are you ready?"
Parsley studies Lewis for a moment, then turns toward the gathered boys. The closed notebook remains between them, its feather marking what belongs to the two of them.
Parsley
"Yes. Because you are beside me, not in front of me. That makes it possible."
John
"Then we will listen to you, Parsley. No one will turn your fear into an order."
Morris
"And if you lose the words, you may stop. The company can wait."
Edwin
"We are here. You need not make yourself smaller to tell us."
Francis
"Tell us what you want us to understand, not what you think we expect."
Edward Harbury
"Your account belongs to you first. We will receive it without claiming it."
Parsley opens the notebook at last, but leaves the feather visible beside the blank page. He keeps one hand near Lewis's, then faces the company.
Parsley
"My fear is that I become unwanted whenever I am not useful. I want the company to know it, but I do not want anyone to manage me because of it."
Quest Complete
Share Parsley’s fear with the Phoenix Company
Skill Upgrade: Medicine Mediocre
“Lewis puts a supportive hand on his shoulder and lets him continue.”
Lewis places a supportive hand on Parsley’s shoulder and lets him continue. Parsley closes the notebook after adding the final boundary, and the company accepts his fear without turning it into duty. The public account is complete, while the private promise remains their own.
Parsley
Then let this be enough for today. I have been heard, and I am still myself.